I Made Her An Offer She Couldn't Refuse!

Life in Sarasota, Fl was awesome!!! I arrived in December and escaped the cold of the northeast for the beaches of the Sunshine State. I was actually getting a little tan from all the beach time. The 3 weeks we spent apart were tough. I would go to the radio station every night to call Denise. It was a pain to drive over there, but it beat having to deal with a MONSTER long distance phone bill.

I was able to fly back to Philly on Christmas Eve. Denise met me at the airport. We ran back to her place for Chinese food, drinks and lots o' huggin. It was freakin' freezing that night!!!! Cold crunchy snow covered the ground and we were layered up in turtlenecks and sweaters. We agreed that she would come visit me in February. That was the good news....the bad news was that we would be apart for nearly 6 more weeks.

Denise finally made it to Florida as another snowstorm was getting ready to attack the east coast. Sarasota was sunny and 80 degrees the day she arrived. In fact, the weather that week was specifically ordered by the Chamber of Commerce. I would host the morning show, then run back to my apartment to spend the day with my GF at Seista Key beach, followed by a late afternoon visit to the apartment complex hot tub. I learned how to make marguarita's....and that was all we drank. Denise was getting sad about returning to the snow and slush, so I made her AN OFFER SHE COULDN'T REFUSE.

I told Denise that if she quit her (really good) job in Philly and moved to Sarasota, I would pay all of her expenses for 6 months. If you knew how cheap I was back in '89...then you would be impressed by my offer. Seriously.. I was REALLY cheap. Once at a club, Denise asked me to get her a gin and tonic. An hour later she asked me to get her another round. "I already bought you a drink", I declared. She still laughs when remembering that story. Denise also takes credit for freeing me of my cheap-itis.

BTW....she jumped at the offer! Denise went back to Philly and resigned from her job, packed her stuff into a 1986 Nissan Sentra and drove non-stop to F.L.A.

Up next...the famous "bikini volleyball story" that almost ended our relationship!!

Hello Florida...Goodbye Denise..???

I left my Philly radio job May 5th, 1988. I made it through the show like nothing horrible would happen. I even kept smiling when Charlie the program director called me into his office. It was a performance worthy of an Academy Award! Denise told me the ax was about to fall, and I acted like a bonus check was on the way. "Thanks, love ya, blah blah blah," said the program director. I took my severance and went home.

My birthday arrived the following week. OY...who feels like celebrating when your cash flow drops to ZERO? Denise accepted the "cheer up, it's your birthday" mission with gusto. She picked me up in a limo and arranged for a very fancy dinner in downtown Philadelphia. We laughed, drank, ate, drank some more. She was successful and brought a smile to my face.

Dinner was over and the check arrived at the table. She offered to pay, slid her credit card into the check holder, and excused herself to the restroom. The waiter approached the table to alert me to the fact that the credit card wouldn't clear. It was Denise's card.....she was in the restroom...so, I just used my card to pay for my out-of-work-birthday-dinner. Holy cow was she embarrassed!!!!!! I still bring up that story when we're teasing each other. It's a freakin winner!

I finally received a job offer in Sarasota, Florida in December of '88, and I took it! Look....it was the only offer in 6 months. I was actually a finalist for a morning show gig in Rockford, Illinois. Thank goodness some other schmuck got that gig. I was headed to the gulf coast of Florida. The good news would be met with some sobering questions: What would happen to Denise? Would she come to Florida?

Denise and I agreed that the job was a great opportunity. Our relationship could wait while I got settled in to the new station. I packed up and left Philly, my family and the love of my life. Denise stood on the steps and waved goodbye while I left for the 18 hour drive to Sarasota.

I had a new job, and a great new apartment. The radio station was actually on Sarasota bay. Every morning I would look out the window and see dolphins and manatees. When I finished the show, I would head out to Siesta Key beach. I had 2 new friends named Karen and Maria. They were both waitresses at the local Hooters. We did a lot of promotional events together and became buddies. Just in case you're wondering, they were both beautiful women who would lay on the beach in tiny thong bikinis. Traffic-stopping thong bikinis! I enjoyed spending time with them.....but didn't feel any desire to take it a step further. My heart belonged to Denise back in Philly. It was quite a change in attitude. Months earlier, I would hit on women IN FRONT OF Denise. Now I was laying on the beach a thousand miles away with two stunning hotties, and thinking of the woman who would only shake my hand after our first date. Mr. Semper Fidelis finally arrived!!!!!

Now it was only a matter of time before I could get Denise to Florida to meet my new friends. I just had to make her an offer she couldn't refuse.

Staying Faithful.....Part Deux

Denise and I were "over" for about a month in 1988. Luckily she gave me a second chance...which kind of led to a third chance. There might have been a fourth chance. I'm still a little foggy about the numbers.

There were still some breaches in the "we're-only-dating-each-other" agreement. I hooked up with this seriously drunk cheerleader from an un-named NFL team. Another incident included a viciously drunk news anchor who was dead-on serious on TV, but turned into Ms. Hyde after a few cocktails. Starting to see a pattern here? Remember Katie the waitress who was a Sandra Bullock look-alike? She needed a joint on our date! Most men would be insulted. Not me!!! :)

Denise was furious and dumped me again..and again. Why she took me back is one of America's greatest mysteries!

Finally in April of that year I threw temptation in the trash can and moved on to becoming a one woman, average-looking man. I also threw away the sweat pants I used to wear to work everyday(it's a Philly thing).

My whole world changed on May 4th, 1988. Denise was working at the radio station and received some really bad news. The morning show was canned! Denise was told there was a new morning show heading to Philly. Sam was out. Gone. SEE YA! It was nothing personal....just business as usual in the radio industry. The morning show moved up in the ratings from #12 to #3 in 9 months. But some weasel in a cubicle decided it was time to hire new talent. Denise was shocked. Heck....they canned her boyfriend. The good thing was that co-workers couldn't keep track of our dating. They saw me with different (DRUNK) women and figured we were history. That's why the station management confided the (bad) news to her. Denise did her best to hide her emotions.
She stopped by my place that evening and gave me the bad news....that I was officially supposed to hear from my boss at 9am the next morning.

It all came crashing down. The gig was over! No more David Bowie interviews, cutting to the front of the line at clubs, limos, etc. You know.. all the important stuff to a 25 year old goof from Northeast Philly.

There was only thing left from my radio career.... A beautiful blonde named Denise. Radio brought us together at the Jon Bon Jovi charity event (blog entry #1)...and nothing was going to pull us apart. NOTHING!

Coming up in the next post......Moving to Florida for my new job, without Denise.

Hi Katie...I can't see you tomorrow tonight!

Life was good!! Denise and I were dating just each other. Actually, that doesn't sound right. We weren't dating JUST each other....we were exclusive!! Sam and Denise, Denise and Sam. But there was one problem with exclusivity. What do you do about the "future prospects"? You know...the people you met and they weren't available/interested at that time. Oh well....here comes Katie!

Denise and I were going out 3x-4x per week. Life was good! In fact, Denise ended up getting a job at the radio station. The promotions director moved on to another station. Denise was a natural for the gig. She already met the other jocks and the program director...and they were all enamored with her. So....now Denise and I were working together during the day,and dating at night. At work, we played down our relationship. Denise didn't want to muddy the waters of the office politics. (smart move!)

Ready for the problem?


My buddy and I had lunch on most days at a restaurant frequented by radio people. That eatery happened to be located in the lobby of our building. It was just a short elevator ride...to Katie. She was the smokin' hot waitress at the restaurant. Katie was an exact double of Sandra Bullock. I used to hit on her every chance available. One day she must have lost her mind....and asked ME out! I said "YES" without thinking about...er....uh....what's her name (just joking!)

I went behind Denise's back and dated Katie that week. After our romantic dinner we went back to Katie's apartment so she could smoke a joint. Seriously. See...women need drugs to date me! It was a great evening, and we made plans that night to get together Saturday for some more....(edited for family rating). That worked into the schedule, because Denise and I only had plans for Friday night!!!!

The "Denise and Sam" date actually ended up at a luxury hotel in downtown Philadelphia. We had so much fun, that we decided to keep the date going by spending ALL weekend together. What a great idea! But what would I do about Katie???

It had to be a "Defcon 1" secret mission to contact Katie while with Denise. There was only one thing to do.....wait for Denise to:

a) leave the hotel for soft pretzels
b) leave the hotel for a newspaper
c) take a really long, hot shower

Denise chose "c", leaving me enough time to make the call to Katie and cancel our date. Whew...dodged a bullet with that phone call! At least I thought I was one smooth guy.....

That following Monday, Denise and I had lunch at the restaurant in the radio station building. Guess who was our waitress? If you said,"Katie"....you win! Katie approached our table and asked,"What happened to our date Saturday night?". Denise lost her usual smile and stared at me. I was speechless...that was a rare event.
Denise and I finished our lunch in silence. She later told me that she wanted to dump her plate on my head....but our boss was at the next table. Needless say...Denise broke up with me that day.

No More Dating Other People...

Ed. note; OK...this entry is going to be a little embarrassing. It's about dating another woman named Lori. The problem was........that I met Lori while on a date with Denise.


I was all excited about my date with Lori. We met by the women's restroom during a Hooters/Tommy Conwell + The Young Rumblers concert. Actually, I was at the show with Denise. We were leaving the concert and she had to stop and "powder her nose". I waited outside the bathroom and that's when Lori and her friends approached. One of the women recognized me from TV, and that's all I needed to start the, "We should get together some time" routine. I also needed Denise to use as much time as possible in the ladies room. It would've have been awkward if Denise exited the restroom right when Lori was giving me her number. (I know.....I was a dog...but you knew that from the first blog entry). Lori gave me her number and moved on....Denise came out...all with the precision of an episode of Three's Company.

I set up the date with Lori the next day, and it sounded like she was eager to go out with me! BR (before radio) not many women were eager to go on dates. Now, I can pick up women when standing by bathrooms. I love this country!!!!

The first date with Lori was going to be a simple mission:

1) Show up on time driving a clean car
2) Wear a nice sweater
3) Slop on extra Pierre Cardin cologne
4) Open the door for her at all times
5) Keep dinner costs under $30
6) Duh???

I showed up at her apartment, and her dad was there watching TV. I guess he wanted to meet the schlep taking his daughter out for a date. I'll never forget what happened in her living room. Lori introduced me to her dad. As he got up to shake my hand a commercial appeared on the TV. Not just any commercial, but the morning show spot that I shot about a month earlier in Nashville, TN. Of course in the commercial, I'm wearing TONS of make up, a stylist had worked on my hair and they gave a clothes to wear. Lori's dad looked at the TV...looked back at me....glanced at the TV again...and just smiled. It was if the radio gods looked down to help me score. It was a once in a lifetime event; pick up girl at apartment, meet girl's dad, appear on TV while dad was standing in the room.
( I am not making this stuff up!!!!)

The date with Lori went well, although as a conversationalist, she was no Denise. We both established that we weren't dating other people...blah..blah..blah...under $30. Out of respect for her (wherever she is) I'll stop with the details. I will say that date #2 was in the freakin' hat...or so I thought.

Two days later I was on the phone with Denise when she asked me a very interesting question,"How was the date with Lori?". I couldn't even respond. First of all, Denise and I weren't dating exclusively...so it's not like I was cheating. But I could tell by the sound of her voice that it hurt her a little. I told Denise the date went....uh..well, and wondered how she knew. Well, it turns out that Lori called her friend Angela to tell her about the date. Angela ( stay with me for this) was dating a guy named Mark. Mark went to high school with Denise's brother. Denise's brother told her that I was dating Lori. Philadelphia has a metropolitan population of over 6 million people. How the heck did I date a women with a direct pipeline to Denise?

I realized two things; I hurt Denise's feelings by going out with Lori, and Lori would never go out with me again because I had lied about "not dating anybody".
I decided to make a bold move.....to just date Denise. You hear that Philadelphia? I was starting to fall in love with Denise, and no other women were going to screw that up. Well, at least I'll be faithful this week!

Here's the article I talked about on the radio..

A friend at the Chamber of Commerce asked me to be a guest writer for their newsletter. My only concern was," What the heck do I write?". The president of the chamber happened to be listening the day I was talking about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, and suggested I come up with 500 words about marriage. YIKES!! I haven't written 500 words on ANYTHING since college...and even then it was a cause for heartburn.

It took awhile..but here it it. Click on the link and enjoy!

I'm Soooooo Confused!

We were actually having fun together. I mean real "not-so-serious-dating" fun. There was never any pressure when we got together. We hit the clubs in South Jersey, the diners in the Northeast and the mall in Willow Grove. Denise and I didn't argue or disagree on ...anything! Why couldn't I just sack up and say," Let's just date each other"?

BR (before radio) dating was a difficult mission. Not having: 1) looks 2) money 3) nice car didn't help the "hook up" picture. Radio erased those negatives! Women who wouldn't urinate on me to put out the flames were making themselves available to go out for dinner. One particular event really cranked up the dating quotient. I had the opportunity to interview David Bowie on TV when he came to Philly to promote his tour. The interview (barely 60 seconds) was then turned into a 30 minute special that aired one night at 9pm. I didn't realize how many single women saw the broadcast. But I started to fall in love with Denise at the same time (OY!).

Many of our "dates" were lunches at a salad restaurant in center city Philadelphia called Salad Alley. I would drive into town and meet Denise at her office in the beautiful Warwick Hotel, then we'd walk a few blocks. That day she was dressed in white. I'm talking WHITE! She was wearing a white blouse and white skirt. Now THAT'S confidence. A sloppy schmuck like me would never have the guts to eat in a white suit. I wonder how Colonel Saunders did it?

On the way to our lunch, we noticed the streets started to fill up with people....lots of people. It turns out the city decided to have a mini parade to honor the retirement of basketball legend Julius Erving of the 76'ers. Some lug nut scheduled the DR J. parade at noon on a weekday. Well that was the invitation kids needed to cut school to see this NBA legend. So as thousands of teenagers descended on center city, it became more difficult to walk. Luckily, Denise and I made it into Salad Alley for lunch. Unfortunately, getting back to Denise's office would be a challenge.

We were able to see Julius Erving atop a convertible as we finished lunch from the safety of the restaurant. We finished up and started to walk back to the Warwick when we heard a huge crash of glass. It appeared that all the kids at the parade now had nothing better to do than.....LOOT! Somebody smashed the window of a jewelry store about 20 feet from us. The sound of all that glass hitting the sidewalk is frightening...the sound of more glass breaking is freakin' scary. The crowd turned into serial looters and began "smashin and grabbin" anything they could carry with their filthy hands. Denise, dressed in a beautiful white business suit looked at me with a terrified look.

As looters and thugs ran in all directions, I noticed an alleyway between two buildings. I pushed Denise towards the alley, forced her into a doorway and put my body between her and the crowd. We weren't alone. A Philadelphia cop also sought shelter from the crowd and dived in for cover.

Philadelphia Police were eventually able to assemble and take on the crowd. Denise and I made it back to her office from a lunch we still remember to this day. You think something like that would bring two people closer together? I felt necessary to protect her from the riot....but I just couldn't push myself closer to her. Besides, I had to get home for a date with legal secretary name Lori who also saw the David Bowie special. What's up with that?