If you've listened to me on the radio, you know that I don't really argue with Denise. IMHO, arguing with your spouse is a huge waste of time. Look, you're not going to always agree on every single issue. So...just agree..to disagree. And then move on. In fact, move on with a glass of red wine. AND.... We really can't stand it when couples start fighting RIGHT in front of us. It's very awkward!
However, there was "The Argument". The reason I put it in quotes is because it was the only time Denise raised her voice...at me. It happened in 1991, and never happened again. And it all involved a ham and cheese sandwich.
Very few people came to Buffalo to visit us in our new house. Surprised? Would you go to the frozen tundra of western New York to see friends? Well, there was one guest (un-named) who was in town for business and came over for dinner. Let me first say that Denise is a magnificent cook! Her brisket, chili, lemon cake and other home made dishes RULE! But, in our first year of marriage, her culinary repertoire consisted of....lasagna. Well, my buddy started teasing her about the limited choices in the kitchen. And the needling didn't stop. He then piled on that she could probably only prepare a ...."HAM AND CHEESE SANDWICH!!!".
Denise kept her cool and just delivered a fake smile every time a mortar was fired in her direction. And there were plenty of mortars airborne that night. Our guest just kept slamming away....and I...was....quiet. I just sat there and snickered along with my pal. My bad!
When dinner ended, and my pal left...the fireworks erupted. Denise let loose and yelled for the first ( and last) time in our marriage. "How could you let some person talk to me like that!?!", she barked. "How could you just sit by and let someone make fun of your wife?", she hollered. My only response was that Mr nameless was a D-----bag, and the remarks were made in jest. My wife asked if I would just sit back and let a total stranger make fun of her cooking? "Hell no", I replied. Then it dawned on me. Her point was made right there, in the tiny kitchen of our brown duplex in Buffalo, New York. Nobody would ever disrespect my wife...and that included friends, family, strangers, circus clowns, creatures from another planet,etc.
Denise and I still laugh about the "ham and cheese" story today. If you ever see her, ask her about the famous argument. I rarely talk to the bonehead who made the remarks. Why should I? If you think it's funny to disrespect my wife... then you disrespect me, too!
