Monday, January 31, 2011

Quirks...Gotta Love 'em!

According to the Free Dictionary, a Quirk is :

A peculiarity of behavior; an idiosyncrasy

Marriage is more than just a union of two people, two families, etc. Marriage is a union of two people and their quirks! And if you're know about quirks. Not shutting out the lights when leaving a room, rolling the tube of toothpaste from the bottom-up, etc. Denise and I each have our wacky "things" that we do. And in a successful marriage, you learn to love the quirk, as you love your spouse!

I'll start out with my quirks. And just to set the record straight, quirks are just "standard operating procedure" until you get married. I can't seem to close a drawer. When I get out a fork in the kitchen, or a towel in the bathroom, I open the drawer or closet...and then "kinda" close it and move on. It drives Denise crazy! In fact, Steve Carrell also suffered from this condition in the movie "Date Night" with Tina Fey. She kept slamming into opened drawers and cabinet doors throughout the movie. Denise was doubled over with laughter when she saw that movie!!!

Have you ever met my best friend "Mr Ketchup"? He goes with me to the table practically every meal! I put ketchup on meat, fish, vegetables during breakfast, lunch and dinner. Denise used to roll her eyes when I covered potatoes, chicken, eggs and everything else in the great red condiment! And don't get her started on locking the doors! When we go out, I always make sure the doors are grabbing the door handle and pulling the door a few times to see if it's locked. OK..well maybe it's not just a few times. :) And then there's the "wet head" I talked about in a previous post. I like to get a shower before bed, but I never dry my hair. Denise used to scream when she was hugged and kissed by Mr Wet Head!

Denise has her quirks, too. She has to have a bottle of water by her side of the bed. But, she won't carry the water to the bedroom. She likes me to bring it to the night table. She'll actually walk by the closet where the water is stored...and keep going. And she has to have her 3 pillows with her when she goes to bed. The combination has to be 1) 1 long firm pillow
2) 1 long soft pillow
3) 1 short soft pillow

I'm sure that are more quirks to list. Bottom line, they don't bother us. Those "goofy" little things that we do make us unique! I always smile when I forget to bring Denise her water bottle and go get it after all the lights are out, and she
still giggles when I try to kiss her and get my wet hair in her face. 'em, and marriage will be much more fun!!!

Monday, January 3, 2011

"Honey...We Need To Talk"

"Honey, we need to talk", Denise said to me one night. The five-word bomb was dropped just before midnight. I had showered and jumped into bed to grab 4 hours of sleep before heading to the radio station for another morning show. Like men through the ages....I thought to myself,"We need to talk?". "What the heck had I done?", I wondered. Then the flashbacks began....

There was no shortage of women who had broken up with me. In fact...the break up ratio was probably 5-1. Meaning that women had dumped me 5 times more than I had broken up with them. Regardless, I couldn't figure out what Denise wanted to talk about. My mind raced through recent events that could have lead to the demise of our wonderful union. I wasn't chasing other women, slapping her around during arguments, stealing money from her to support my drug habit. Heck....I didn't even have a drug habit. What was on her mind???

"Sure, what do you want to talk about?", I asked wondering if the end was near. Denise replied," There's something that you do that really bothers me".
(Cue the suspenseful music) "When you get a shower or wash your face, and then get in bed...your hair is always wet", she said in a non-accusatory tone. That was it?
She had a beef with my wet hair? Denise added, "When I try to kiss you goodnight, I get a face full of wet-head". A huge sigh of relief come out of this worried guy. The last time a women said, "We need to talk", I was single moments later. She just didn't like a wet hair on the pillows.

I grabbed Denise and then proceeded to mop her face with my wet head. She let out a playful scream and tried to escape from my grip. I yelled out," Watch comes Mr Wet head!!!!!!". Twenty years later Denise still gets caught up in the arms of Mr Wet head. In fact, Mr Wet head has often chased her around the bedroom. She screams and laughs every time I get my arms around her and turn my head left and right, like the brushes of a car wash.

So remember, if your husband or wife says,"We need to talk", the end might not be near. In fact, Mr Wet head may be waiting to make a visit.